This is it.

So, my mom's 50th birthday was recently. It made me think: that could potentially be the middle of her life. I mean, chances are she's already half way through the way our family goes, but still... it makes you think. I realize how young I am, and that I still have so much of my life to live. Thinking about my future makes me slightly nervous. There are so many things I want to do, and who knows if ill ever achieve them. It just makes me wonder: when do things begin to count? We always say, "I want to do this, I want to do that.. etc." I just wonder when we start to consider the things we've previously done as part of our lives? I look back on some of the things I've done in my life and I think, "Wow, that was amazing. I can't believe I did that, it feels like another lifetime!" Is it when we become adults, or when we begin to achieve the things we always had on our 'to-do in life' list? I just don't want to wake up one morning and realize I've spent my entire life waiting for it to begin. What if this is it? This is where the beginning starts and we have to embrace everything from here on out. I want to do so many things and although I do plan on doing then at some point, I want to make sure I don't waste my time in between now and then. I don't want to disregard the pre-years as if I'm just spending them waiting. I don't want to wait. What is there to wait for!? I want a family at some point; a loving husband and some little munchkins running around. I might dream of that until it happens but I'm not going to ignore any man that may not be suitable for that role in my life. I want experience things. I want to look back and know that I enjoyed my years of sorrow as well as joy.

I feel like I have done so much yet nothing all together. I want to do something with my life, I want to know by the time that I'm on my death bed that I made a difference in someone's life. 

Have you?