...and you are?

I think we just need to appreciate more of who we are and stop trying to fight it. That makes you miserable, trust me I've been there. Embracing who you are is what will make you truly happy. I've learned to stop caring about what other people think of me. What do you think of yourself? That's the important question.

In-dependence

The other day I was driving home from work and noticed the red light of a traffic signal was out. It got me thinking, as does everything: Sometimes we may be just like that red light: waiting for someone to come change and restore us. 

I fear that this is common for people. Let's say something traumatic happens in your life, it effects you (even if you pretend it doesn't, that pretending will eventually effect you, and it came from the trauma, therefore there is no escaping it and any way you look at it, it effects you). Now, guaranteed none of us would like to admit this, but it's true. 

First of all we try and push things back in our minds and not let them bother us or change us; hinder the way we live day to day. The fact of the matter is that by trying to push this said problem down we are only going to cause a major breakdown later. Sometimes we occupy our minds with other things, other people, to avoid coming face-to-face with our dilemma, however in most instances this will only make it seem easier, and make it seem to other people that you are doing exactly that. Your true friends can see straight through your facade, and a lot of times, this is exactly what we need. We need a friend to remind us that it's okay to be sad, angry; basically just emotional, we're human! but the point is that we cannot just pretend things don't happen or try to find a way around facing things. I think the hardest thing to do is come to terms with our traumas by dealing with it day by day. We need to lean on those true friends, they are how we make it through. But the biggest thing is finding yourself again after the storm; searching for and picking up all the pieces of you and putting them back together. This most likely will not become the same puzzle that you were before, this will have modifications and tiny nicks in the edges, and, as hard as it is to believe: there will most likely not be any holes in this new puzzle of you. It's scary to think we won't be the same, but we need to realize that learning and growing are necessary; and those few chips in your corners, or nicks in your paint: they can heal, and they can expand, and they can eventually make a shiny new portrait out of you.

Secondly, on point from above: stop waiting around for someone/something that will miraculously come and POOF! you'll be fixed. Sorry Charlie, not gonna happen. We need to rely more on ourselves, have more trust in ourselves and, like I said following picking up our puzzle pieces, realize that we are so much stronger because of this disaster. A lot of people just want miracles, they want miracles to find them and fix them. Although this is a nice fairy tale feeling, odds are that's the only place you'll find it: fairy tales. Considering we live in reality (hate to break it to you), the probability of this said miracle finding us is unlikely. I think if we so badly want one, maybe we need to get off our asses and find one. Stop waiting around, this will get you nowhere. You need to embrace life and not waste any of it.

Lastly, sometimes all you need is some good ol' fashion 'upgrades'. Being a girl, I can tell you that a new haircut, and in my case a new piercing (nose), can do you wonders. Now, I can't tell you if this will work for pulling a guy out of a slump, but I know for a fact that every woman knows what it feels like to have that great feeling after a great new haircut. Silly, I'm aware, but in any matter, true. 

I'm certainly not saying that it isn't difficult to do these things (well, not the haircut, for all of us), trust me, I know how hard it is to even get the motivation to start finding those pieces, let alone putting them back together. It takes a long time, and so it should: healing takes a long time. That awful storm will stick in your mind for a long time, and replay over and over again. But, thankfully, this doesn't have to last forever. 

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is actually start to help yourself out of this mess. It's so easy for me to stay in bed all day and only get up because I have to go to work because I don't want to get fired, come home and go right back to bed. You think you know how you'll be after something happens and you may be completely wrong. I can say all I want that I haven't been through a crap-storm and back, but I have. And it's so easy to meet someone new and get caught up in that, but then realize that those bad memories never leave, they're just under the surface, waiting to remind you. So you put up your guard again, and push away because you're scared. Well, I have to tell myself that fear is okay. Brave the unknown and maybe that's where you'll find those new pieces of yourself; the new ones that will mingle with the old ones and make you who you are. 

So stop fearing and just jump already, I promise you'll enjoy it.